Nobody likes to confront someone else. The word "confrontation" sounds so...confrontational.
But if you've found yourself in a leadership position, you've probably found yourself in a situation where someone needed to be confronted. Maybe it was over unmet expectations, unfulfilled responsibilities, a misspoken word, or attempting to alleviate a conflict. Whatever the situation, you needed to have a conversation with someone and it wasn't going to be an easy conversation.
Because of that, we will often do everything we can to avoid confrontation. We don't like to do it and we think to ourselves that the one who you need to talk to won't like receiving it. So we just don't do it. And then we're surprised when the problem doesn't go away and seems to get bigger.
Here are seven reasons why confrontation is difficult for us. If you identify yourself in one of the reasons below, perhaps it's time to address your own issues so you are better able to confront in a healthy way.
1. Fear of being disliked.
2. Fear of being misunderstood.
3. Fear of rejection.
4. Fear of making things worse.
5. Fear of the unknown.
6. Not used to sharing your feelings.
7. Lack of confrontation skills.
Have you wrestled with any of these? What suggestions would you make to overcome these issues? Since the overwhelming issue is fear, how does one go about working through the fear to engage in healthy confrontation?
Watch for another post that describes the goals involved in healthy confrontation.