How To Question Failure

You've probably know that sickening feeling: You think everyone in the world must know you've failed, and you have to force yourself just to keep your head up. That's why it's good to go back through any experiences of failure you've known and ask yourself some helpful questions.

These questions come from the book, Increasing Your Leadership Confidence, by Bobb Biehl. They are valuable because any growing person who continues the healthy process of attempting new challenges in life will find failure at some point.

1] Did I fail because of another person, because of my situation, or because of myself?
Instead of placing the fault of failure squarely on yourself, take time to consider others who were involved or how the situation may have played a role in the failure. Be willing to take your share of the responsibility in the failure but be able to recognize other factors at work as well.

2] Did I actually fail, or did I simply fall short of an unrealistically high standard?
Realize that when we set unreasonably high expectations or standards that it can create a failure mentality if we don't reach them. The good news is that it's OKAY to be less than perfect, to not reach every goal, and that you don't have to be perfect to be extremely significant.

3] Where did I succeed, as well as "fail?"
Many people who experience a major failure tend to have blurred memories about the things they actually did right in the situation. They focus only on the few things they did wrong that caused the emotionally traumatic feeling of failure.

4] What lessons have I learned?
Maybe you've learned not to jump too quickly into something, or to seek harder for wise counsel from other people.

5] Am I grateful for this experience?
You can't resent something for which you're truly thankful. If you're overwhelmed and intimidated by that failure of the past, you can't be thankful for it. If you are thankful for it, you see its value in your life.

6] How can I turn failure into success?
How can yesterday's failure be a part of your success today? How can you "turn lemons into lemonade"? What have you learned that you can now pass on to others?

7] Practically speaking, where do I go from here?
What are your plans? When? How?

8] Who else has "failed" in this way before, and how can they help me?
Often, just talking with someone who has also failed in this area can help you gain perspective on what went wrong. Do you know someone like that?

9] How can my experience help others someday to keep from failing?
Can you give a helpful warning to others by telling them of your own failure?

Comments

[tim]

Billy. I absolutely agree. I think a person is better when they don't fear failure, but work through it and grow from it.

[Billy Smith]

Not only does failure bring learning, I also believe it brings out the best in those who are willing to persevere and work through the hard times.

[tim]

Thanks Tom. I like your mentor. He seems to have a healthy view on things. I hope you fail well today. I was sharing with the SGA this week a quote from the Dalai Lama -- "When you lose...don't lose the lesson."

[Tom]

Good stuff. I think we learn the most from our failures. One of my spiritual hero's always asks me, "how have you failed lately." He is very disappointed when I don't have a story for him. He also has told me that one of the questions he asks when interviewing someone to work at his church is, "when was the last time you failed at something." If the person does not have an instance, he will not hire them. Failure, often seen as a weakness, can be a strength. It is important that we fail at things in life to help ourselves become better equipped people.