I didn't get this third post up as quickly as I'd have liked today. I was adding value to my wife.
I'm on Spring Break this week from my work at the University. With that comes a little bit of freedom from the pace of college life. And it also brings a nice list of home improvement projects. At the top of the list today...finish the rock fire pit.
Now you must understand something: This is no small firepit. I am moving about 4000 pounds of stone (in wall block and flat pieces) to put this thing together. That's a lot of value.
So I'm finally sitting down (with an icepack on my back) to get this post on the internet. I'm excited about this portion of the 103 Ways To Add Value To People. There are some great ideas in this group.
If you want to read the first 25, click here: 103 Ways To Add Value To People (1-25)
If you want to read the second 25, click here: 103 Ways To Add Value To People (26-50)
Here's the next 25...
51. Refer business leads to others. A great way to add value to someone's life is to add value to their business.
One of the most important things a person needs to do in business is
marketing. We are all selling something. Word of mouth continues to
rank near the top of reasons why people will try something new. So I
become a buzz agent (literally...www.bzzagent.com) for my friends and
refer potential customers their way whenever possible.
52. Talk to the people who are in front or behind you in lines.
I refer to this as "acknowledging the humanity that's right in front of
you." Say hello, talk about the weather, do something to acknowledge
someone else. It often catches people off guard when I turn around and
say "hi" to them. I think we're told so often not to talk to strangers
as children that not only do we not talk to anyone whom we don't
know...we don't even acknowledge them.
53. Admit you don't know something about another person's area of expertise - show your ignorance or lack of knowledge and let them teach you what they know.
Whenever I'm around people who know how to work on cars, I am all ears. They'll start talking about different types of engines and parts and what works better...I don't even attempt to chime in. Don't get me wrong...if you need someone to set the presets on your radio or adjust your clock, I'm your guy. But open up the hood and I'm lost. I've come to realize that I don't do anyone any good by trying to fake my way in a conversation about working on cars. So I ask questions...lots of questions...stupid questions. And you know what? People are happy to teach me, show me, even help me. Humility helps you learn. Pride puts up walls to learning.
In fact you do not know everything that there is to know! It is okay
to learn from others that you admire as experts, they will be flattered
and feel valued, while you learn from their expertise! A win-win!
54. When you read a good book, think about who else would benefit from it and invite them to borrow it or purchase a copy for them.
Make
sure you refer people to books that you've actually read. Also, it may
not send the right message if you're reading, "How Not To Be A Jerk"
and you call up your friend and say, "Hey, I've got a great book that
you NEED to read." But it is extremely helpful to read (especially
non-fiction) with an eye for who else could benefit from this
information.
55. Offer to videotape or take pictures for someone at a special event so they can enjoy it without having to worry about doing that sort of thing themselves.
I've
gone to basketball games, soccer games, birthday parties, etc and
offered to hang out and just take pictures. Usually other parents are
very grateful because they can focus on the game or special event and
not worry about when to snap the shots. With digital cameras, it only
costs your time and battery power. You can email pics to people and
even put them up on the web for them to share with others. One of the
best gifts I received last year as a coach was from a parent who had
taken time to shoot pictures of my son during our games. I couldn't
coach and carry a camera. Plus, this other dad was such a better
photographer than I am.
56. Whenever someone asks to borrow a pen, invite them to keep it.
People
are always looking for a pen. Why not get some inexpensive pens made up
that say, "Have a great day...there's nothing like a free pen." The
point is: people are always holding on so tightly to their stuff (which
is often important, especially when you are looking for a pen and you
just gave yours away). But what if you lived in such a way that you
weren't always trying to get, but looking for ways to give. The simple
life avoids clutter. Why not consider giving away as much as you can?
57. Make your contribution greater than your reward.
All of you coffee addicts can appreciate this! I am really lucky to be the recipient of a warm cup of coffee on my nightstand every morning before I wake up! My husband started this tradition nearly 5 years ago when we brought our first baby home from the hospital. Byron knows that it would be impossible for me to get to my favorite coffee shop in the morning with a newborn baby, so he visits the shop for me as part of his morning routine. Every morning he selflessly delivers my hot coffee to me, most of time I am still "sawing logs"! His contribution is HUGE to me and yet his reward is often not instant, he leaves me while I am snoring away! When the delicious aroma of the cup of coffee wakes me up I reach for the phone before I take and sip and call him on his cell phone: "Thank you for getting my coffee this morning!" This starts both of our days off on a happy and grateful note...
58. Make your expectations clear and up front. Don't make people guess. Make sure they are reachable and realistic.
I
once had a boss who never really liked anything I did. I would do my
best, but he still didn't act positively about my work. I would ask
him, "What do you want me to do? What do you expect of me?" His only
response was, "Produce!" I thought I was producing, but I guess it
wasn't good enough by his standards (whatever those were). It was
really frustrating to try to work toward expectations that were
unclear. Do you want to motivate your employees? Give them something
tangible to aim at. If they're any good, they'll probably exceed your
expectations.
59. Compile a list of resources or ideas on one topic for someone and help them make sense of it, look for patterns, or gaps.
People
will often ask me about the latest gadget or electronic toy that's out
on the market. They come to me because they know that I keep up to date
with what the latest and greatest is. One of my goals is to not only
know what the next cool piece of technology is, but to be able to find
it for the cheapest price. If I can save a friend a few bucks by
finding something for them at a cheaper price, I'll be adding value to
their wallets.
60. Play devil's advocate and offer two sides to a situation. For example, you could give reasons why you should do "X" and reasons why you shouldn't do "x."
Sometimes
a person needs to think through the opposite side of an issue. By
playing devil's advocate, you can help someone affirm what they already
believe or give them something more to think about. The goal here isn't
to be argumentative, but to widen someone's perspective.
61. Develop a system that helps you stay organized, then share that system with others. Others may not adopt your system exactly, but it may help them see blind spots in their own organization strategies.
I'm
always trying to figure out the best way to keep track of my calendar,
to-do's, projects, etc. I love to look at tools that other people
create and I've even created a few of my own. Recently, I designed the
Weekly Schedule | Task | Planner (WeeklySTP). You can download it here.
One of the funnest parts of creating this tool was giving it away for
FREE and hearing all the feedback from people that were using it and
having success with it.
62. Develop an energetic greeting when you see people.
This is a great suggestion...you do not have to be the cheerleader-type to muster up a sincere smile and a twinkle in your eye when you greet someone! I don't think that most people realize how validating it is to get a warm greeting from someone! You do not have to go "Euro" with the kissie kissie ritual, but you really can and should show some jubilation when you are greeting people. Show some spunk and people will be happy to see you too!
63. Create mementos of special occasions that you spend with people.
Hey
guys...want to score some major points with the ladies? Of course you
do! Try grabbing a matchbook on your way out the door of a restaurant
when you are on a date. If you are non-smoker (and I pray that you
are!) your date may ask, "Why are you taking matches, you don't smoke,
do you?" and then you get to be smooth-guy and respond with the
value-packed: "Ahhh, you
caught me! I just wanted to remember tonight's date with YOU!" Girls
admire a guy who think that they are worth remembering! Now be sure to
call her the next day and to call her by the correct name! If you can hang onto that matchbook until your honeymoon (like my husband did!), well, then you are gold!
64. Keep people accountable to their promises, goals, and commitments.
When you care about someone enough to point out to them that a commitment that they have made is not being met, you are being a friend that is trying to show the other person how valuable you think that they are to that commitment and to you. For example, think about the last time that you went to a wedding or a baptism. The pastor asks the congregation witnessing the union, and the sanction of baptism,to hold the participants to their commitments being made at the ceremonies. That is pretty powerful! If you are a friend to someone who is slipping in their commitments and you do not want to "nag", think of a creative way to let them know that you see the road that they are heading down and you do not approve! If more married women and men had friends that were not afraid to value the institution of marriage by offering sound advice when there are bumps in the road, I am sure that the divorce rate would be much lower. Let's value our friends enough to watch out for each other and each other's commitments.
65. Use polite grammar. Say "yes sir" or "yes ma'am." Say "please" and "thank you."
If your mom and dad did not instill the power of politeness in you; make it a habit for your adult life. Good manners and a pleasant demeanor will improve your social life greatly. My son can already charm the pants off of most people he meets, he begins by giving everyone he meets a big smile and a friendly, "How are you doing today?" He is 4 years old, but he has got the charm of someone much more mature! My husband and I are both teachers and we have told our kids that teachers really are partial to the polite students in a classroom. I have found that managers, clients and the general public prefer people that have a courteous nature! Think about the people that you encounter throughout the course of a day. Sadly you probably have met some rude ones, but if you do meet up with someone polite it most likely had a lasting affect on you. Be the person who is polite to another person and watch it catch on... I like to think that politeness is contagious! It is also a way to show someone that you value them in the moment that they share space with you. When Danny asks a stranger, "How are you doing today?" they always smile at him and say, "very well and how are you, young man?" and there you have it...the beginning to a gratifying and friendly conversation, in a world full of hustle and bustle!
66. Use the Web 2.0 model. Give things away for free. If you have provided a useful and meaningful product, people are happy to return and pay you for more.
I love the age of beta-testing and free trials and online software that
helps someone with a specific task...all for FREE! People like free.
People feel good about what you're offering when you offer it to them
for free. It seems that the rise of Web 2.0 has created a stronger
sense of sharing on the internet. As a kid, I learned to be good at
sharing what I had with others. What happens to us when we grow up?
67. Practice the Golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Perhaps the greatest idea of what it means to add value to others that's ever been mentioned. Enough said.
68. People often need to be challenged to improve, change, or step out of their comfort zones.
Think about coming into a meeting and your boss says to you,"I think that you are ready for a bigger territory!" wow..that is a rush, isn't it?! Your boss has instantly made you feel ten feet tall! Think about a time when someone's words of encouragement has changed the way you viewed yourself! Usually it is a time when someone believed in you enough to give you a bigger challenge! Remember when your folks told you that you could take the car out for the first time? They showed you that they trusted you with their CAR! Looking back on that myself, I realize that my folks were using some basic psychology on me! They expressed their trust in my good judgement and allowed me to have a privilege that I did not even think that I was ready for! I was challenged to actually be responsible! It worked, I began driving at age 16 and never had an accident while living under their roof! I was empowered by my folks and was allowed to step into an adult world at a pretty young age. I would have never abused that trust..it was as sincere as the day is long. Whether you are 16 or 60 there are times when others can help us find our wings and soar out of the nest we are stuck in. Who can you help to find his wings by giving them a nudge/challenge?
69. Be sincere in your sincerity. Sincerity is something that you cannot fake.
This is the true difference between adding value to some one else and trying to sell them something! We all have a sincerity meter inside of us and we can detect a salesman three blocks away, can't we? Adding value to someone else is a pure and sincere gesture. If you are not "feeling it", neither will the other person! Try your best to do the selfless favor without any other motivation..your sincerity will shine through!
70. Delegate toward outcomes rather than telling someone how to do a task.
When you teach, you learn! How many times have you had to teach someone something that is seemingly simple, but as you begin to explain, you realize, hmmm, this is harder to explain than it is for me to just do myself! There lies the temptation to just do the job yourself everytime that it comes up! Well, to add value to another person, try delegating the task that you usually would just handle yourself. You will be passing on knowledge and helping this person to gain competence in another area; but remember once you have trained someone, you have to let them go and put their own signature on the task. It is like when a dad is asked to change a diaper for the first time, the mom really wants the help and extra pair of hands, but she cannot complain if the diaper is placed backwards for the first few times! Teach, delegate and then let go! You must let the person feel valued and empowered in order for them to want to help out in the future.
71. Allow another person to take the lead in the accomplishment of a special project or task.
If you have ever been asked to do a job that you, yourself, did not think you could pull off, you know the sensation of being s t r e t c h e d. If you are in a leadership position and can assist a person in being stretched to another level, you should! Do not be afraid to relinquish power, because as we all know there is someone above us too...and don't we want the challenge from the Powers That Be (over us)? Valuing someone that is in an underling, or a even in a lateral position, by allowing them to have a taste of glory will bring more experience and accolades to them, but also to you! Most likely your boss will recognize that you are not a show-boater and that you are a team player! Everyone likes team players, show boaters--not so much!
72. Try to notice something unique about a person that might typically be overlooked (nice earrings, nails done, hair cut, on time for work, etc).
In a world of flash and bigger is better you could really make the day of someone else by pointing out something about them that is going against the tide of fashion! My wedding ring is an antique, it was passed down to me from my grandmother on my mother's side, it is very special to me. Whenever I am at church or an engagement where there are older ladies one of them always comes over to me and says that my ring is just like their mother's wedding ring. They get such a kick out of seeing an antique that reminds them of a special person in their life. My husband has offered to get me a new, more up to date ring. I always tell him that my ring may not be the trendy-two-carat that all of my friends seem to have, but it does get a lot of nice complements from my older friends! I enjoy having a unique and special piece of my family history to wear, and for all the kind older ladies that value its significance I will continue to wear it proudly!
73. Ask how someone important to the other person is doing. It could be a child, a spouse, a family member, even a family pet.
The most sincere way that you can verbally care about someone else is by caring about who they care about! Doesn't that make sense? When you see someone who has children it is always a great conversation starter to ask , "How are those wonderful kids doing?" If you know that someone's dad recently had surgery, go ahead and ask how the recovery is coming along. In fact I feel so much more valued by my friends who ask about my family, it takes our friendship to another level, like they are part of my journey instead of looking at my life from the outside, they are with me adding value by caring about what I cherish. (It is not being nosy to ask about your friend's family members if you do it in a friendly and sincere manner.)
74. Let the other person in on a secret. People feel special when they are the first to be told something or are given information that is only given to a select few.
It is Spring now and for us moms it is time to get the kids signed up for Summer Camps and Swim Lessons! I was at the park yesterday and met a mom who is new to the area, pregnant and has two daughters (4 and 3 years old)...she is a busy lady and 3 weeks away from her due date! I asked her if she knew about the summer programs for the girls and about how they quickly fill up before April. She had the look in her eyes that told me she needed my insider's help! I happily loaned her my Parks and Recreation Brochure, jotted down the name of a private swim instructor that my extended family has used for ten years and gave her my phone number and email address. I was suddenly feeling like that kid in high school assigned to the new student! It felt great! She was walking me to the parking lot and then turned to me and said, "Thank you so much for all your help! I have lived here for 6 months and I have not met any of my neighbors....you are the first person that I have had a real conversation with since moving here! You are a sweetheart!" Then, she gave me a warm hug! Wow! Isn't it great when you can let someone in on some information that will make their life better?
75. Teach someone a skill that you know. Have them be an apprentice under you for a period of time.
Apprenticeship seems to be a lost art. We either don't have time to follow someone around and learn the skill or we don't have time to pass what we know on to others. One of the ways that I learned to improve my ability to speak in public was to spend a lot of time with a couple of people who did just that - spoke in public. I would watch how they moved, how their hands moved. I would listen to when they paused and how they interacted with their audience. I became a student of public speaking and learned by watching my two friends who did it well. If you do something well, think about passing it on to someone else. Then your skill will live on, even after you've gone.
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